Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in loki_blacktrick's LiveJournal:

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Friday, June 10th, 2005
7:14 pm	Last Post...Forever Dearest Yet Non-exsistant readers, Today I post my last rant on this journal. This site has brought me nothing but bad things, so I bid thee all farewell. But first to tie loose ends... Chicken Legs is mad at me...I don't care...Its the second time this has happened, maybe our 'sisterhood' was never meant to be. I read the water wrong that night, Kitsune. The broken bond was never you and Noodles...it was us. If you are reading this, I'm sorry, really and truely, but I'm not going to try to get you back as a friend. What's done is done, but I'll still think of you. Have fun in Michagan (did I spell the right?). I wish you and Noodles the best. May you have a wonderful life together. Silver-- yes, I called you Silver-- Even though you hate me forevermore, I cannot do the same to you. You and your boyfriend look great together. I wish you luck. Hang on to him. Never let your friendships go, I don't like to see you sad or angry. You still mean a lot to me and that'll never change. Noodles--for some unfathomable reason, you, too, have turned your back on me. I'm not to going beg on my knees. You are still my friend, no matter what you say or do. You don't owe me the two dollars, it's just petty cash. I'm not sure, even if we are still buds, that I can forgive you for ditching me on 'the day.' But I guess that doesn't matter, does it. I don't know what else to say. I hope you all stay as happy as you are. Farewell...and good bye. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick...otherwise known as, "Crazy Ass Bitch" Current Mood: ... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
5:41 pm	...why are titles needed? Allo, I'm back...and not all too cheery. Silver still isn't talking to me, but I don't really care anymore...I've done all I can, even Kitsune has tried to help. Raye still hasn't been on, so I have no clue how she is. I can only hope. In exactly one week, it will be the one year aniversery of Sami's death...I'm getting teary just thinking about it. I'll be unreachable that day, though I won't be able to lock myself in my room till evening on account of celebrating Mother's day on it. I wonder if Noodles will remember....He probably will; the two of them were stuck like glue.... Enough, I don't want...no, I CAN'T cry. I swore I wouldn't. I'm not going to say what I really want to because my mind is always getting me in trouble with my friends and I can't take it when they're mad at me. Like I said, I don't care about Sharon anymore, I won't even call her Silver...that name is reserved for friends and since I'm not one, I have no right to call her that. Okie, enough ranting for today. I've now gotta get my mind off of next week. See you all later. Sincerely, Loki Current Mood: Estoy deprimida(I'm depressed) (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
8:57 pm	How's Life? Hello all, How's life, you ask? Better than it was last time I posted. Chicken Legs and I have made up, but now Silver's pissed at me. She told me to hate her and I said fine...but the thing is, I can't. It's too hard....no more on that subject. Jelly Bean and I are doing fine. He still doesn't know about the...issue, but I'll tell him when the time comes. Midterms are coming up, so hopefully, he'll get ungrounded. My cousin...well, she was talking to me...but she hasn't been on in a long time. I'm worried. Aiden's (her son) father isn't right in the head, and I'm afraid he got to them. I hope my gut is lying to me. I cut off six inches of my hair last week. Not much? Not for me. It took me awhile to get used to it, but I'm going shorter after the play....I need a change. Speaking of the play, it's going great. I have two roles and having loads of fun. Okay, methinks that's all ranting I can do for one night. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick P.S. Silver, if by any chance you're reading this, I'm sorry. I didn't mead what I said. My huge ass foot got cought in my mouth again. I cannot hate you; it just isn't possible. Even if you disregard all of this, just know you'll always, ALWAYS, be like a sister to me. Current Mood: still down, no chance of up (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 10th, 2005
3:50 pm	Short Rant today Hello, Just a short rantlet today. I have answered the question I asked yesterday. I can definitly fuck up more so. Let's make a list, shall we? 1) pissed off cousin (at least she'll talk to me) 2) by saying one comment to a friend about his girlfriend, have lost a friend. Oh well, life goes on. 3) probably will lose more friends because of number two. The list is longer, but not caring right now. I'll have to find a new place to eat lunch now. Oh, well. No big deal. Means I can finally be myself. Sincerely, Me Current Mood: DO NOT CARE!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 8th, 2005
10:06 pm	Why oh why can't I keep my fucking mouth shut? Dearest readers, Boy, I really fucked up this time. My cousin, the dearest family member I have, is pissed at me because I let it show that I was annoyed with her self-pity. Then she left and probably won't ever willingly talk to me again. Damn. Oh, but that's not all. I think I may have feelings for someone that asked me out last year. I still like my boyfriend more than anyone before him, but lately, I've been finding it hard to talk to him, about anything. (Chicken Legs, don't try to help please.) This other guy, well, I kissed him last year, way before Jelly Bean ever asked me out. I was depressed and I needed someone, anyone. But now, when I see him in the hallways, I feel the same fluttering feeling that I felt that night almost a year ago. What is going on???!!! Is that the end? No. I'm finding people I love to be incredibly annoying. But do I say anything? No. Of course not. That wouldn't be me, now would it? I don't want to tell them because I'm afraid of losing a dear friend. I'm so lost and confused about everything. What should I do? Do I just keep hiding things like I have been? Or do I let the soda bottle explode? That's what I feel like, a shaken up bottle of Coke. Anyways, enough ranting tonight. Off to wait semi-patiently for my cousin to come back on to apologize to her. I have a feeling she won't come back on for a long time. I just don't want to lose her. Not again. Blessed be all. I pray you all will sleep better than I. Sincerely, Loki Current Mood: depressed and confused (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 21st, 2005
11:55 am	Back From State Hello to all who give a flying fuck, Well, I just got back from my state competition for danceteam. On the brightside, I had a blast. I was truely surprised how much fun I had with the team. I've gotten a lot closer to them, not as close as I am with my friends, but close enough to be sad that two are leaving us this year. I'm gonna miss my Neebadeeb and Nichi. They are the coolest dancing seniors in the world. On the darkside, we didn't place. I was sooooo sad. I really thought we had a chance. And me being the tough self-critic I am blame myself entirely. (Dearest friends, don't try to cheer me up. This is one of those things that I have to work out on my own.) Okie, enough of saddness. Be well, dear friends. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Current Mood: state side-effects (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
12:56 pm	Am I really so pessimistic? To everyone who read this, I've been wondering for awhile if I am as pessimistic as people say I am. *ponders* Oh, well. Not important. So....how are you all? Its been a long time, hasn't it? Well, let's see....what's new?...Oh, yeah... VIVIEN IS GONE!!!!!!! SHE'S GONE NEVER TO RUTURN!!!!! Actually, she moved out over a week ago but I've been busy. Oh, and my parents just got me a new computer. Its tightsie-tight. I love it. In fact I'm on it right now. *kisses new flat screen monitor* And...IT HAS A DVD-ROM!!!! Some that Jason doesn't even have. Ok, enough ranting...hasta!!! Be Well, Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Current Mood: am I really? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
7:20 pm	Bored To Tears Allo all, What be up with all you homies? Wow, didn't that sound like Jason? Scary. Anyways, as the subject says, I'm bored. Vivien and two other exchange students are leaving a late V-day party. The other two are really nice and I've been trying to be a good little girl by being nice to Vivien. Other that that, things are good. SILVER! IF YOU ARE READING THIS, SKIP THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH!!! For V-day, my boyfriend got me a gigantic stuffed monkey. It is so adorable. enough of that or Silver will kill me. OK, SILVER YOU CAN READ THIS AGAIN!! I'm bored...oh wait you already knew that. hehehe. That's really all I have to say. BE WELL! Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick P.S. Kie, if you're reading this, how the bloody hell did you come up with that name? Just curious. Current Mood: nothing to do (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 7th, 2005
5:24 pm	Fucked up Life Hey everyone who gives a shit to read this, Well, on Sunday, we didn't go up to Adam's Cemetary as planned. Too wet. And I was actually looking forward to it. I need to say goodbye. I need to. And Kitsune, don't feel bad. It's something that I've needed to do but never had the courage to. Saturday was the competition and we placed third. Not bad? That's probably what you're thinking, right? Well, there were four teams in our division. Now you do the math. As always I blame myself. The dispute just keeps getting worse and worse. And I have to hold my tongue and pretend I'm not affected by it. That be all worth ranting about for now. Be well. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Current Mood: the mask is constantly on (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
7:29 pm	SHE MAY BE GONE! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Hello dear readers, Today I'm in somewhat of a happy mood. Bitchy McBitch-Bitch (aka: Vivien) has been grounded!!! My parents have finally seen that she isn't all sugary!! She pissed off beyond belief, but do I care? HELL NO!!! The story goes a little like this: she had a b-ball game last night in Stayton. The bus gets back at 9:30, does she? No, she doesn't get home till nearly midnight. She was out with friends (more then likely getting drunk). Anyways that explains my good mood. As for the despute front: Emily has been found. She hiding from the fat lady formally known as a friend. She won't come out though so I still have trouble sleeping at night. I miss her, even though ghosts are not my favorite entities. Long story. This Sunday, Kitsune is taking me up to Adam's Cemetary to visit Sami. I haven't been there at all and she feels it's time I saw her and said good bye. Needless to say, I'll be fighting back the tears that day. Also, Silver wants to do something to help the issues, so I have to bring my book. Well, I think that be all. No, wait! The spring play is starting soon. I've been trying out. I don't care what part I get, I just want one. Ok, that's it. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Current Mood: so many moods, so few choices (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 30th, 2005
3:58 pm	Who to Trust? Hello all who are bored enough to read this, For the better part of this month, there has been a rather large dispute between friends of mine. Kat, a one-time friend, is saying stupid shit to try to get Chicken Legs and Noodles to break up. The only reason that I know of this is because she loves Noodles. How does this concern me? Well, I've been pretending to be friends with her and Xi still to try to get information about anything. While doing this, I asked Xi that I had heard that Kat had tried to get rid of Emily, a ghost of a little girl in the auditorium. Xi told me that Kat never did that. However, later the very night, I discovered that Emily isn't even there. Again, how does this affect me? Well, Emily is my shadow protector. With her gone, I'm afraid to go to sleep. Even with all the artifacts I've been given. I don't know what to do. I don't want to burden my friends with my fears, but does that mean I have to sleep with one eye open until this whole thing blows over? I don't know. Well, I've gotta finish homework, so I'll leave now. Sincerely, Loki Current Mood: stressed out beyond belief (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 21st, 2005
7:16 pm	Vampire Boredoms To all who read this little ramble of mine, Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I have to excuse. Do I ever have an adequet one? Anyways, as of right now I am at a performance for the state team. Oh the fun. I just got switched to another spot so I'm like still learning it all. Plus the fact that I was sick doesn't help. So, extremely short rant today because I have to go get ready. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick P.S: Dearest Kitsune, HAVE FUN AT THE PROM!!! Current Mood: I wanna sleep!! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
4:34 pm	A Vampire's Cold To All, *cough* Good morning....oh, it's the afternoon. Well, then. Nevermind. I'm sick. Yeppie for me. I have been for the past two or three days. It's not fun. I think I'm also delusional. This is just loads of fun. I'm falling so far behind in my homework I don't know how I'll make it all up. Well, anyways....Last Saturday was the Winter Ball. Jelly Bean and I went together. It was so much fun besides the fact that I had to wear a dress. The dress wasn't the worse part: my mom wanted me and my BF to get our pics taken, so I dragged Chicken Legs and Noodles into it as well. Needless to say, they hated me for it. Well, I only have one thing to say on that: AT LEAST I'M NOT AT SCHOOL!!! Ok, that's that. Very short rant today due to obvious reasons. C Ya later, peeps. Sincerely, The Sick Vampiress, Loki Current Mood: *cough* (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
10:18 am	The Vampire is Tired!!! To All Who Got a Better Night's Sleep Than I, Damn you! Just kidding. In case you were wondering, I'm so damn tired because my mother was being a bitch last night and made me get off the computer at midnight. So I decided to smite her and stay up to three in the morning. Then, just to prove that I could, I woke up at eight. Yea I know, a stupid way to smite someone, but I DON'T CARE!!! Hey, I just realized that this was a fairly quick update. WOW! If only I was so reliable with writing my stories. So how was your New Year's? Mine was awesome. I went to Noodles house and hung out there. I was slightly sick though so my fun was minimal. Well, short rant today due to the fact that I'm so tired. G'nite and sleep tite....What? It's morning....Damn! Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Current Mood: why did I stay up so late???? (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
7:56 pm	Happy Christmas to All and To All, a.....oh you know it To the many Fuckers who had a great holiday, SO DID I!!! Surprisingly, I had a great Chrismas. I got the stuff that I wanted and some things that I didn't but my family tried and that's what's important. Right? Well, anyways, the gift list: 1) a new hoodie (woot! from my bubby! {that's would be my brother}) 2) the first four of the Vampire Chronicals by Anne Rice 3) three DVDs: The Ring, Cabin Fever, and Final Destination 2 4) 2 cds: Blink 182: Dude Ranch, and Maroon 5: Songs About Jane. 5) a new computer desk. 6) some practice clothes (aka: a pair of black dance pants and a tank top that says Dance Rebel on it) 7) season 2 of Buffy the Vamp Slayer 8) some new charms for my braclet Well, that about it. I have a party to go to on Friday and being as I'm sick, I'd better go rest up. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Current Mood: sick, but must get better (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
7:57 pm	Long Time, No See, and In a Good Mood To All Who Read This Pathetic Excuse For a Rant, How have you all been? *waits for an answer* Fine then, fuck you too. Just kidding. I'm in a good mood and have been for a while. Husky (the evil person from my previous rant) and I have made up. I can never stay mad at him. Jelly Bean and I are doing great, thanks to Kitsune. I love her. Oh and him. Kitsune made it into the Reader's Theater, so WOOTs to her. Other then that, I ain't got much to say. I hate my teachers. Ok, now I'm done. Bye all. Be Well. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick P.S. I am part of three rambles between me and my buds. Hope that I don't get them confused. Ok, now I'm really done. Maybe........ why are you still reading this? I said I was done......... Go away now. Are you annoyed....... I am........ ok, that's done with. bye, and I mean it. Current Mood: content and not suicidal (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
5:41 pm	Why the Hell Am I Still Here? To Those Who Care, Why am I here? Why do I go on? Why do I continue to feign my feelings around those who supposedly care about me? Why don't I just go away and never return? Oh, I'm sorry. Let me explain my current mood: I just had an odd conversation with someone I had mistaken for a friend. He bragged about him finding his true love already and that I wasn't in love with my current boyfriend. That made me think. If I'm not in love with him, why do I go out with him. He said he loved me, and maybe he does, but I don't know if I do or not. If I don't, then why lead him on? Why make him believe that I love him as much as he loves me? Then I said something to the extent of "Then I'm just going to break up with him and commit suicide." And the supposed friend said to go ahead and do so. I told him that I wouldn't do that to my friends, then he told me that they wouldn't care. I have come to realize that no one cares for me. I am utterly alone. Maybe I should just die. I mean, then wouldn't I get peace? I'm not joking when I say this this time. Part of me still thinks that if I do, then it would cause a chain reaction with the people around me. But then, part of me thinks, what the hell, why not, I'll finally get to be myself. I apologize to any who read this. Especially my 'friends'. If this makes you worry, don't. And once again don't try to cheer me up. It will not work. Once at school tomorrow, I'll put on my usually facade. Don't worry or fret. I'd warn all of you far ahead of time before I did something so drastic. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick-Incendnium P.S: I'm too depressed to give a shit about danceteam, so no comments on the preps tonight. Current Mood: so called friends (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 27th, 2004
8:41 pm	Another Birthday Came and Gone To Those Who Give a Flying Fuck, Hey, I'm officially a year older. Actually, my b-day was on the 19th, but I haven't had time to post anything for a while. The play, "Pure as the Driven Snow" was great. The last two nights we had a good crowd. I'm sad that it's over. I can't even do the winter play (which actually isn't a play but a reader's theater) because of the danceteam. Speaking of which, I made the state team. WOOT!! Now, all that preasure of dissappointing loved ones is pretty much gone. The dark side to this: More time with annoying preps. But hey, suicide is always an option. Though I'll never be able to do it and leave my friends. They are the only reason I stay on this dreaded Earth. So... How was thanksgiving (to all who celebrate it)? My was decent considering I finally got b-day presents. I got: *new headphones WOOT! *a Simple Plan cd *Final Destination *Harry Potter PofA *some cash *earrings *a tank from san francisco and that be it. Kinda sad but hey, money doesn't grow on trees. The paper they make it out of does but that's beside the point. Well, enough rantings for now. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Incendnium Current Mood: just am (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 7th, 2004
6:40 pm	I SURVIED!!!!! To any who cares, I survied the sleep over! Yay!! *dances around in circles* Ok, that's enough of that. When I got home, I fell asleep in my daddy's chair and slept till my mother woke me up. That was evil. After that, we got to go to the convention center for no apparent reason, except dear Vivien wanted to go. (fyi: Vivien is the exchange student from Germany who lives with me) The good news: I found something really cool to give to my cousin for Christmas. The bad news: I had to spend the whole afternoon with my "sister". Oh, yea, and Chicken Legs, thanks for the comment! Though I didn't get it till this morning. That be all for now Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick Current Mood: the evil preps! (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 6th, 2004
6:58 pm	I DUN WANNA GO! To anyone who reads this, Somebody save me! I have to spend the night trapped in the high school with... *dun dun dun* THE DANCETEAM!!!! *sobs* Yea, I know that I'm on the team, but I still get annoyed by their giggles and sreamings of "Like Oh, My God!" Please pray for me. I would say pray for my sanity, but I don't think there's any left. Ok, anyways, there reason for the whole sleep-over thing is because of my coach. Every year she does this "Happy Birthday to Me" thing where we go to the school, exchange mandatory gifts (aka slippers) and play gay little games. I'm so bringing my cd player and book. Well, on a happier note, (if there is one) I went to my friends house for his b-day party and had moderate fun. That's basically all to say. Well, short rant today since my mother wants to speak with me. Sincerely, Loki Blacktrick P.S. HELP ME!!! Current Mood: guess (1 Comment |Comment on this)